And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
