Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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