I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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