Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
