playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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