I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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