Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
