New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
