I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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