It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
