I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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