I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
