I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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