haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
