Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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