Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
