I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
