Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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