Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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