what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
