so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
