Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize