I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
