Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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