Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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