How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize