The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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