Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize