My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
