Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
two words: eviction party
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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