So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
