Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My vagina is very pro this idea
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
