i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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