Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
