God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
