So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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