Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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