I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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