He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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