Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
