Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
