..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Enjoy the penises
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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