break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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