We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
