he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize