We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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