i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
