Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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