Having a random hookup so left but love u
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
