dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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