your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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