I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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