Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
