If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize