i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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