I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
