I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
time to smoke my breakfast
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
