Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
