honey bunches of taint.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
