am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize