At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
