Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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