she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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