I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
