lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
