I'm drive I can fine osifer
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
