I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize