I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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