I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
