How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
one two three fourrrrnication!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
