All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
