They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
