Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
