and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
