so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
