I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
