Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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